T-5 Days.

Not a great run this morning.  Schedule was 6 with the last 4 at race pace, and my overall average (counting 2 water stops) was race pace -- which means it was too fast b/c the first 2 miles were actually at the right pace, just the race pace was too fast.  And the weather was perfect.  But the pace felt unsustainable.  As it should -- I haven't trained to sustain that pace in 5 days for 20-22 more miles. 

Even though MTCM doesn't have a pace group for my BQ pace, I'm considering going with a pace group 5 mins faster or 5 mins slower, just so I can make sure I don't go out too crazy.  I've been thinking this for a few days.  I just need to decide which one to choose if I'm going to do it.  I could really go either way.  If I start 5 mins fast, I could aim to stay there though 20 and then if I slow down by almost a min per mile, I'd be okay.  If I start 5 mins slow, I'd have to really pick it up toward the end -- and I've only negative split 2 marathons in my life (NY, I have no idea how, and St. George, where it's almost impossible not to have a neg split) and I don't think this course is good for it -- largest hill comes around mile 21ish and lasts about 2 miles.  So that suggests starting 5 mins fast.  But coaches have hammered it into me -- there's no such thing as a time bank in a marathon.  I really don't know what to do.  I'd prefer to start on my own and stay steady, but it's really hard not to go out too fast, in which case it's true that there's no such thing as a time bank -- you pay for going out too fast. 

I'm sure it's just b/c I'm getting focused, but on one of my must-read blogs, the post I read this morning seemed to be speaking directly to me, though she took it in a different direction.  SRG's post related her mom's advice: 

My mom always gave me this advice growing up: “begin how you mean to go on.”  Meaning, start each thing you do in life in the same manner that you intend to carry that thing out, forever.

Obviously I don't intend to run at BQ pace forever, but if I begin the race how I mean to go on during the race, that probably suggests either attempting to pace myself or going for the pace group 5 mins slower.  And then begging God for some major energy to shave a min per mile toward the end...

What to do, what to do, what to do... ??????