Niceness

I think I mentioned that we read The Happiness Project for book club.  The more I think about it, the more I want to be nicer.  The example that has been weighing on my mind lately was something that happened Sunday night at book club.

There were 8 of us at my friend's house for dinner.  It was a great meal with great conversation.  Then for dessert we had this amazing chocolate cake my friend's husband had made.  She was saying it made her so happy because first, she loved the cake, and second, she loved that he made it. 

Anyway, the crowd broke up and people headed home, but 2 of us stayed behind with the hostess.  It was me, the hostess, and a woman we used to work with (she has since moved to another firm and another city, but was in town visiting).  We sat outside in the dark (the light brought bugs) and talked for a long time, about happiness, life and everything else. 

Well, at some point while we were sitting out there, I heard some noises in my friend's house.  Realized it meant her husband and kids were back, but no one came outside, so we just stayed out talking. 

Finally it was time to go, so we headed inside.  And there was my friend's husband, in the kitchen, scraping plates and loading the dishwasher. 

Wow.  So nice.

The sad thing was, I thought the odds of my doing that had I been in his shoes were slim to none.

I tried to imagine if hubby and I had kids and he had friends over one night and I left the house with the kids.  I could imagine bringing sleepy kids home and putting them to bed.  Sure.  Reasonable.  But I cannot imagine facing a kitchen with masses and masses of dirty dishes and leftover food and just attacking it solo.  I think I most likely would have gone outside to hang out with my husband and his friends.  Or if for some reason I didn't want to do that, I might have just hung out and watched tv.  I might possibly have put some of the food away, but I just don't think I would have cleaned up a huge mess from an event that I didn't share in. 

I need to work on that!  It was just so nice of him to let her enjoy the night and not ask her to do "her share."  I need to be less focused on that.  I'm too into equal household labor contribution.  While I firmly believe it should be roughly equal for us (we both work full time), and of course I don't think it should be equal when one person is sick, injured, or out of town.  But I need to do nice things and just pick up more than my share for no reason sometimes.  And I need to not think of it as "more than my share." 

Haha, oh my, I have so far to go...