I'm definitely feeling "beaten down" the last few days, and I was a little surprised. I figured now that the big deal at work was done and I had a special mid-week day off, things would be all good.
And I'm definitely happy. I don't mean that. Just feeling drained, unrested, pulled in a million directions.
This is the first week of marathon training, so I want to be starting strong.
And then all of a sudden, in a moment of chaos this morning, I realized what my problem was.
I'm about the last person on earth who still uses a desk calendar as her primary calendar. I use the one on my work email and on my phone for any work appointments, but anything personal (and most work stuff), I write down. My little week-at-a-glance tells me everything.
So I'm working from home and I thought I might have a doctor's appointment today (last one on hubby's health plan before I have to deal with figuring out my new one). Just a check-up. Well, I couldn't remember when it was, so I called my secretary and asked her to check my calendar.
She got back on the line and let me know it was definitely next week. And then she said something like, "is this really your life? I mean, do you do all this stuff?"
Ton o' bricks.
I thought for a few minutes after we got off the phone, and because I'm bright, I've figured out why I'm so frazzled lately.
Here's what my evenings have looked like for the last almost-week and for the next almost-week:
Sunday, 5-20: Book Club
Monday, 5-21: Homeowner's Association Board meeting (and can't skip b/c I'm on it)
Tuesday, 5-22: Dinner with our neighbors (pizza downtown, then fro-yo)
Wednesday, 5-23: Social run with former co-worker and then drinks
Thursday, 5-24: Yoga with bestie at 7:15
Friday (today), 5-25: Dinner with one of my best friends and her husband (my former boss)
Saturday (tomorrow), 5-26: International festival downtown where hubby's godson's younger brother is dancing, and then dinner with hubby's best friend and dancing son (and maybe hubby's best friend's wife and godson if they're also around)
Sunday, 5-27: Out of town, to bestie's parents' place for the long weekend
Monday, 5-28: Late dinner w/ best friend from junior high who gets in town that day to cover TX primaries the following day
Tuesday, 5-29: Track meet! My first one (a running store here holds weekly meets for 7 weeks in the summer and I've been dying to try it, so going with friends)
Wednesday, 5-30: Rangers game with junior high best friend, hubby and other friends (and house has to be clean b/c junior high best friend is going to stay with us)
Thursday, 5-31: Special evening race to officially kick-off registration for our local marathon (weird distance, 6.4k, so guaranteed PR)
Friday, 6-1: ahhh... no plans
Saturday, 6-2: Out for drinks at the bar that we consider our first date (celebrating 7 yrs ago there)
Yikes! That's basically all stuff that I have voluntarily committed to do. Things I've chosen instead of free time. And not a single thing stands out as something I don't want to do. It all sounds awesome.
But most of that means not great food, later than usual bedtimes, and 0.0 hours of relaxing time at home.
Think I need to work on balance a little bit more...