Deciding Not to Run

I couldn't decide whether or not to run today.  I've voted no.

I wanted to run because after a high yesterday of about 104, our temps finally came plummeting down last week and it was in the upper 60s and low 70s in places this morning.

I wanted to run because I want to remind myself that even with my goal race gone (thank you communism), I don't run just to race.

But cooler heads prevailed.

I have a 20 mile run tomorrow.  I don't want to do it anymore, but my friends are running, and I'm sure I'll have fun when I get out there.  I know it will be good for me.

I just have such a heavy heart right now.  I want to make myself get over it already!  I should shift my focus to the San Antonio marathon.  It's not inconceivable that I could kick @ss there.  Sure, it's unlikely, because that would require lots of training while we're in China, but it might work. 

Sure, 50 miles during a week in Chongqing.  Haha.  Ugh.

What am I doing, what am I doing? 

Today, the answer is getting ready for a long run tomorrow, and then a day full of errands.  Today, the answer is going to yoga, trying to get some stuff crossed off my "to do" list. 

San Antonio is going to be a train wreck if I try to race there.  I just can't see myself running many miles while in China.  Heck, we'll be on a smallish boat for several days.  And I don't think there are going to be treadmills! 

I seriously have no idea what I'm going to do.  Maybe just do the training with my friends, not race in Beijing, and then run San Antonio easy?  Take December easy, then go to work hard in January to work on getting faster, and then plan my big race for next September in Berlin?  I don't know, I just don't know. 

More sighing.