On the Wagon!

So a couple days ago I posted my fave moments in photos from the bachelorette party.  Well, later in the day that day, while I was at work, I was reading a test for alcohol/drug dependency.  I was actually reviewing someone else's responses, but I was shocked and appalled at what my own score would have been, based primarily on the alcohol consumption over the course of the long weekend.

For the record, I'm not even mildly concerned that I have a drinking problem.  In the summer, I probably have about 2 drinks per week on average.  Sometimes both on the same night, sometimes two separate nights.  I rarely drink at home, hubby is far more likely to have a glass of wine with dinner than I am.  In December, I'm probably closer to 4 drinks per week.  But during the rest of the year, I average less than 1, barring unusual circumstances -- such as being on vacation, when usually I'll drink wine most days, or basically being at a bachelorette party (or I suppose being deep into marathon training, when I don't really drink at all). 

Anyway, I felt like one weekend with heavy (and heavier-than-planned) alcohol consumption yielded very scary answers on this test.  Some of my favorite questions or statements with which the test-taker is supposed to agree or disagree:

Substance taken in larger amounts or over longer period than the person intended (I planned to drink only a bit in the afternoon on Sat and more Sat night, had no idea I’d also drink all day Fri, Sat morning, and some even on Sunday).

Persistent desire or one or more unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control substance use (it has been a persistent desire to not drink since I got home).

A great deal of time spent in activities necessary to get the substance, taking the substance or recovering from its effects (flew all the way to Michigan, spent the morning going to grocery and liquor stores w/ the other bridesmaids to stock up on provisions, spent much of the weekend drinking, and spent several days recovering from effects).

Continued use despite knowledge of problem that is caused by use (knew I was already drunk but still kept right on sipping…)

Do you sometimes drink before noon? (couldn’t have said how long ago was the last time I did that, but happened on multiple days over the long wknd)

Have you taken a drink in the morning? (see above!)

I drank more than I planned. (Absolutely, I should have just planned on drinking a lot all day every day I was there, then this one wouldn’t have counted)

Do you sometimes get drunk when you didn’t start out to? (Mimosa in the morning, plus my low tolerance, plus sun, plus more alcohol meant drunk unintentionally)

I have ended up drinking more than I planned w/o realizing it. (True, shocked to realize how tipsy I felt by mid-afternoon on Sat)

Recently I have attempted to control problems resulting from alcohol by quitting but then started using again. (Not sure on this one. I definitely stopped drinking after that wknd. And I’ve been to two social runs, one wedding-watching party, one fireworks-watching party, one law school happy hour, and probably a couple other things I don’t remember, and I haven’t had anything to drink. But I know I’m going to drink next weekend at the wedding – so I’ll be “using” again.)

Do you sometimes try to cut down on your drinking? (Yes, doing it right now – water at happy hour Tuesday night, and more water after the social run last night.)

I have felt a need to abstain from drinking for a period of time. (TRUE! So don’t want to have any alcohol anytime soon.)

Have you neglected your obligations, your family, or your work for two or more days in a row because you were drinking? (Yes, and b/c of poor cell phone reception. But I took the entire weekend off from work emails, and I barely got to spend any time on the phone w/ hubby – partly b/c of the alcohol, partly b/c it would have been rude to not hang out w/ the party, partly b/c I wanted to spend more time w/ my future sister-in-law, and partly b/c of the cell phone reception)

My drinking behavior has caused me embarrassment but I have continued to drink. (Oh yes, there was a dance party, and I danced and danced, likely while singing very loudly – always embarrassing if alcohol is involved)

My ability to understand and remember things is not as good as it used to be. (True, but I’d always attributed that to getting older and becoming a list fanatic rather than anything related to alcohol)

Do you associate with friends who drink? (Most of my friends drink at least sometimes – I think my dad and two former colleagues are the only teetotalers in my life, plus the occasional preggo friend)

Most of my friends drink just like I do. (True, most of my friends these days are also runners, so we have very similar patterns of having a beer after a social run sometimes, but not drinking close to a big race. But I’d believe that most all of them would have drank much of the wknd if at the same bachelorette party I was at)

Have you awakened the morning after some drinking the night before and found you couldn’t remember a part of the evening before? (Yep. But at least some of this should be attributed to general poor memory or old age. I can’t remember the name of the summer associate I met at the law school happy hour Tuesday night, and I didn’t drink a drop. I also can’t remember with any certainty what our waitress looked like, what color shirt my friend was wearing, or what music was playing)

Have you ever gotten into trouble at home b/c of drinking? (My husband was so peeved about 5 yrs ago when I fell asleep next to our bed and he couldn’t find me and thought I was missing, but that's outside the 12 month time-frame for the test)

Oh my!  So basically if I hadn't gone to the bachelorette party, I'd have basically said that over the last year, I'd have only had to answer affirmatively the questions about being forgetful, cutting down my drinking (i.e., making sure I don't drink at all for about 3 weeks before a marathon), and having friends who drink and drink in similar quantities to me.  And I also had eggnog on Christmas morning, but I'm 90% certain I asked for virgin eggnog.  But anyway, the weekend pretty much blew all my responses!  Such a fun weekend nonetheless (though of course a serious alcohol problem would not be fun at all, I'd be quite unhappy if I'd had to answer in the affirmative the questions about seeking help, losing a job, being arrested, fighting when drunk, etc.).

These last few questions I had to answer in the affirmative really don't seem to belong on this test.  Are these really indicative of someone being an alcholic??? 

Do you ever try to limit your drinking to certain places or certain times of the day? (Yes, even w/o the bachelorette party, I’d say yes to this one. As a rule, I limit my drinking to the evenings when I’m with others. Not big on morning drinking in general, or drinking at home ever unless it’s during a dinner party.)
I am afraid I will soon experience a major loss (eg., divorce, death, job loss, etc.). (True, but again, unrelated to the bachelorette party. Especially lately. I’ve always worried that my husband will someday realize that he’s a much better person than I am, and now I completely love my job that I’d be crushed if I lost it (but I think any job loss, even from a job I didn’t like, would scare me). And knock on wood, my family has been very healthy lately. I have two grandparents who are old, and I’m fully aware that they are likely to predecease me, and I suppose my folks might too, but that seems very remote in time. Hubby’s folks are older and not in great health, so that could happen someday. But as I hear about colleagues and friends lately with sick parents, I’m afraid of someday having that death stick hit my family. Oh, and by the way, we got pounded with it (the death stick) in 1996, 3 major deaths in my close family, and then a grandpa in 2002, and pretty much none since, so yes, part of me fears it.  I am definitely afraid I will soon suffer a major loss.  But I should note that this isn’t a life-shaping fear, and has nothing to do w/ whether or not I’ve had a drink in the last 12 months. My life is good and I’m insanely blessed and undeserving, and I worry someday some of my personality flaws, like internal snide comments, or being argumentative, will mean that some of the great things that make me so happy are better than I deserve in the big picture and won't be mind forever.  It would be much nicer if I knew everyone I love would live at least as long as me.)

It is hard for me to change my views once my mind is made up. (True, again, unrelated to the bachelorette party. I think that’s probably true since I was about 15, so before I consumed any alcohol other than sips at communion.)

Either way, when I read this test, the guy whose answers I was reviewing had real problems (all that stuff about being arrested for things related to alcohol or drugs, etc.), and I don't think I do, but it was still interesting to see how one weekend changed my answers. 
 
Staying on the wagon until I get back to Michigan next week to begin the official wedding festivities!