Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Bathroom Etiquette Question

So what do you do if you really, really, really, REALLY have to pee (let's say you're in the habit of drinking tons of water, but also very busy at work, so you wait until you're seeing yellow and ready to pop before you go), you go into the only women's restroom on your floor at work, and your secretary is in there standing by the sinks on a personal phone call on speaker phone?

I know I've mentioned before that she is one of my least favorite people in my life right now, but really, who does that?  Why wouldn't she just leave as soon as the door opened and someone else was coming in? Or at least take it off speaker?  I guess I understand that she doesn't have an office door to close for personal calls, but there are conference rooms and even stair wells where you could prop open the door that must be much more pleasant than a restroom. 

So what do you do? 

Do you go in a stall and start peeing?  And given that our toilets are sensored, possibly have an auto-flush when you stand up and she's still on the phone? 

Do you go in a stall and wait for her to leave? 

Do you stand awkwardly by the sink hopping from one foot to another, pretending to fix your hair and trying not to listen the phone call to see if she'll leave? 

Do you actually try to ask her to leave by pointing to the door? 

Do you risk an elevator ride to another floor, hope it's not a secure floor so you can get to the restroom, and go there? 


  1. I'd be annoyed too! I would go because whoever is ON the phone with her will think it's her who just flushed the toilet. That's not on you!

    I pee a lot too due to drinking a lot of water and being a nervous person in general HAHA :)

  2. Since it is speaker phone, you could always say 'hey, who are we talking to on the bathroom conference call?' :)

    But seriously, I would just go - talking on speakerphone in public is already rude, so if the other person hears a flush, so be it!

  3. Took me a moment to figure out the issue, but safire's comment helped me see. So if I understand correctly, your dilemma is whether your bathroom activity noises will be picked up by the person's speaker phone and cause the other person some social awkwardness or embarrassment with whoever they're on the phone with?

    If that's the case, then just go for what ever you need to go for, make whatever noise you've got. Its like they gave you the BUMP-SET and all you need to do is SPIKE.

    I'd even throw in some fake #2 noises just to up the ante. Bathroom is not phone booth, doubly true for speaker phone.

    Never encountered a speaker phone bandit, but I do work on a floor with no cubicles, just flat desks no walls, so you can see about 80 people or so just by panning your eyes across the room. I drink water continuously all day every day, so I also go to the bathroom all day every day and everybody can see and reflect upon the frequency. Every now and again I get a funny look, and I just think to myself "you have a right to comment on my bathroom needs if you can run a long training run with me" Ok, so this was from before I ran the marathon, so now replace "long training run" with marathon, I heart elitism. Anyone who can do it, understands the hydration needs. Anyone who can't is just a hater :-)

  4. Ridiculous! I would have just let loose and peed. I might have even given it a double flush!