December 16 – Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? (Author: Martha Mihalick)Hmmm... I think my friendship with our neighbors has changed my perspective gradually. While we love to do tons of things with them (last night we went driving with hot cocoa to look at Christmas lights, last weekend she came to help me with all my baking, we regularly eat dinner together and sometimes watch movies or do other things), one of my favorite things to do with the female half of the couple is to walk. She doesn't run but loves to walk and we walk quickly, faster than I walk alone. We usually average about 15-15:30 per mile, which always surprises me.
Anyway, of course while we walk, we talk. She has been married much longer than we have and her comments about her husband, their relationship, and my husband and our relationship have shaped my perspective in many ways. Since I have been married, or even engaged or before that dating, I haven't lived in the same state as my mom, so maybe I've missed some of her commentary on the ups and downs of marriage. And most of my good friends who are married have been married less than ten years. Talking to my neighbor is always interesting and fun, but in many ways it's given me a better view of what to expect and how to handle problems. It was almost shocking to me that even though they've been married so long, it isn't always easy. I think sometimes I expect that at some point, it turns into a cake walk, but you always have two personalities, two backgrounds, two different perspectives, etc. It's a never-ending series of compromises, even if you're on the same page about most things. Her friendship has opened my eyes to thinking about what we'll be like as we get to be married as long as they have been. It's fun to think about.
While I love her perspective on marriage and relationships, it's the overall friendship I treasure so much. There are a million things we talk about all the time and I love it. It's so odd that we met each other and happen to live next door to each other.
I feel like I know very few of my neighbors, but on the day they were moving in next door, a truck was blocking my exit from my garage. Very frustrating since I was on my way to work and am usually in a hurry to get there. I can't remember if I honked my horn or got out to find someone to move the truck, but I met the male half of the couple. I introduced myself, we exchanged brief pleasantries, and he went to move the truck or to get someone to do it. His wife came out at that time and he introduced us. I could tell immediately that she was foreign and I thought maybe Italian. I asked where she was from and found out she was indeed Italian, from a town in Puglia where I spent some time in college. She couldn't believe I knew the city, so I quickly ran in the house to grab a photo album. She laughed to see her town's amphitheater and a couple churches. The bond was formed. She met her husband in Italy while he was in the military and then they moved here. They go back fairly often as her sisters are all still in Italy.
She's on board with my plan to transition to speaking Italian mostly in my personal time in 2011, so that will be nice practice for me! The only bummer is that I think my Boston marathon training program is really grueling, so I'm not sure if I'll have as much time for walking when I have a serious running schedule.
As an aside, this morning one of my weekday buddies and I decided to link up with another running group to run a different route. I got there and recognized someone from the Italian conversation group in which I met my husband. He was even there the very night we met. We haven't seen him in years. He was always a Spanish teacher and so Italian was less important to him, but now he's learning German as well so he said his Italian is fading. He seemed so surprised to see me and made several comments before the run about how different I looked, and then after the run he seemed shocked. He kept asking me what I did to get so much faster. My weekday buddy and I still trailed behind him a little, but we basically kept up. The pace was faster than I wanted, but tolerable. He had run a couple miles with me during my first disastrous White Rock marathon (the one that included vomit, no PR, and a time way longer than wanted/expected (which I've since beaten by hours, yes, hours plural!)). He couldn't believe the change. I told him I attributed it mostly to getting serious about cross-training, doing weights and abs, etc. Either way, it was fun to catch up and see him again! My husband laughed when I told him how surprised this guy was. Hopefully once he gets a lock on the German language, he'll come back to speak Italian with us again!
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