Reduction

I'm back in Dallas (as of late last night, which is awesome because all the highway construction is overnight, so bumper to bumper traffic at 11:00 is so much more pleasant?) and slightly behind the curve.  I just realized this weekend is Father's Day.  So I'm going to buy a card at lunch today.  A card.  One.  For my dad.  Not the usual three -- no more buying a card for my father-in-law, and no more buying a card for my stepdad. 


The hits just keep coming.  I told my running buddy this morning that I think I know how it feels for a guy to be hit in the nuts.  He kind of laughed.  I'm lucky I've got so many supportive people around me. 


In a hope that affirmations work:


I will not cry when buying one Father's Day card at Kroger.
I will not cry when buying one Father's Day card at Kroger.
I will not cry when buying one Father's Day card at Kroger...


I'm know I'm blessed to still get to buy the one!  So grateful for that.  My dad shared me and my brother with my stepdad so well.  My dad was always of the mindset that more people loving us was better.  I'm sure it was hard for my dad at times, since we always lived with my mom and my stepdad, and from the time I was 9 or 10, didn't live in the same state as my dad. 


Anyway, instead of focusing on the two losses we've had this year, I'll focus on what the dad that my husband and I now share, and how lucky I am to still have that. 


And I'll keep breathing.  Even if it feels like I can't.