Work Sadness

Man, first my Grandma, and now another downer post.  Sorry.  I'm still a generally happy person, just encountering sadness lately. 

I don't want to talk specifically about work, but my husband and I have both noticed in the last week the saddest trend -- many adult victims of sexual violence have a history of being victims of sexual violence. 

I'm dealing with an adult woman who is the victim of a recent sexual assault.  Sad.  But I just found out that she was first raped at age 7.  I mentioned this to hubby and he said he was surprised I'd never noticed that before.  I guess it's less that I hadn't noticed it, but more that I hadn't thought about it.  He said he sees it all the time -- adult victims who've been victimized before.  

It's such a horrible cycle.  Some people are victimized again and again.  I wonder what causes that.  I would assume it has to be outside factors (it's not that these people (women) are particularly beautiful or anything), but is it?  Do victims somehow subconsciously put themselves in positions to be victimized again?  Are they more willing to tolerate that behavior?  Does it all relate to economics?  How can the cycle end?  Or better yet, how can the cycle never begin?  I just don't understand, and sometimes I remember to thank my lucky stars that I've never been victimized like that.

The statistics about domestic violence and sexual assault are scary of course, as pretty much everyone knows.  I once had a relatively minor "domestic" incident with the guy I was dating when I was in high school -- we broke up immediately afterward and though I missed him, I knew better than to ever go back to him after that had happened.  And the incident was really minor -- a shove, no injury resulted or anything, but I knew enough to walk away.  And I guess technically I've probably been verbally or emotionally abused by some ex-boyfriend, but it seems that lots of juvenile relationships end with ugly things being said.  I wouldn't count that, at least it's nothing compared to the physical sexual violence some women suffer, often beginning well before adulthood.

But I really wonder how this keeps happening.  Is it common that someone is victimized repeatedly (meaning as a child, and then in a wholly unrelated incident(s) as an adult)?  Or is it just that most the adult victims I encounter have this pattern?  And for the few child victims I encounter (very rare), does this mean they are essentially doomed to a life of being victimized?  Is it just women victimized as children who continue to be victimized while men victimized as children instead become victimizers?  Why do these patterns persist? 

Sad.  I wish I could fix the world.

One of my ideas if I ever rule the world is to run criminal DNA checks on every single corpse so we can at least close down some open cases, though it's too late for justice.  If only there were some way to stop these sad victimization cycles too. 

I still have a heavy heart from the sad news this weekend, and it doesn't help that I'm sore for 4.5 hours of hot yoga on Sat and Sun, plus the half-marathon on Saturday.  So I'm just feeling kind of blah.  But it’s time for FMM!   And I was surprised to see that this week’s topic is courtesy of Bella, perhaps the blog I've read the longest. If you haven't already, check out her blog,http://bellaonthebeach.wordpress.com/.

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

FMM: Makeup Favorites

1. Do you wear makeup everyday?  If I'm going to work I do.  I tend to skip it on days I'm working from home or weekends, unless we're going out to dinner or something.  But all I usually wear is eyeliner, lipliner and lipstick.  Almost never wear anything else.  I wish I were confident and pretty enough to skip it all every day.  
2. Does your routine change if you’re going out with friends/on a date/to a party?  If it's something formal or a wedding, I put a bit more time into it and I actually wear mascara and stuff.  But for just going out with friends, I stick with my usual routine -- eyeliner, lipliner, lipstick.  
3. Are you loyal to one brand, or do you use different brands for different things?  Different brands for different things.  I think it's Revlon eyeliner and lipliner, and then I wear two lipsticks most days -- Mary Kay and Trish McAvoy.  
4. Do you wear primer/concealer? If so, what’s your favorite kind? No.  
5. What’s your favorite brand of foundation? Don't really have one.  
6. Do you use blush and/or bronzer?  If so, what’s your favorite kind?  No, don't usually wear either.  I have Trish blush that I'll wear on the rare occasion I use it -- about 4 times a year maybe...
7. Do you wear eye shadow/eye liner?  If so, what’s your favorite kind? Revlon eyeliner seems to last the longest of the pencils, and I don't usually take the time to do liquid.  
8. What’s your favorite kind of mascara?  Lancome, and I wear this maybe more like once a month, but it's still pretty rare.  
9. Lipstick? Lip gloss? Both? Favorite? Lipstick most days -- as I said, Mary Kay underneath, Trish on top.  And I wear tons of chapstick -- whenever I'm working out and before bed.  
10. Do you wear nail polish regularly?  If so, share a few of your favorite brands/colors.  No.  I usually get pedicures in the summer, but I get very lazy in the winter.  As for finger nails, I usually only have them done when I'm in a wedding.  
11. How do you remove your makeup at the end of the day?  Uh-oh.  No, it usually fades off and doesn't seem to be there by the time I leave work, so I just don't bother.  I go through phases where I try to be good about taking it off at night, but I'm usually just exhausted and I'm lucky to get my contacts out.  
12. Do you feel prettier when you’re wearing makeup?  I suppose, but I probably feel most confident while working out or right afterward, and no make-up then.  I have fairly complicated feelings about make-up, and think it's better to be happy with yourself the way you are, which makes me not want to wear make-up.  But I give in, and wear it all the time.  Peer pressure.  I wish no one wore it.  
13. Do you have any beauty tips that you could pass along?  No, I'm excited to read other responses to get some tips.  I guess my best tip is lots of water and lots of sweat -- makes your skin better, which always makes make-up look better, and maybe less necessary.  

Now it’s your turn to answer the questions!  Don’t forget to say hi to Bella and a few other bloggers!  And also be sure to come back and leave a link to your FMM post in the comments!  Happy Monday friends!

Sadly Memorable Half Marathon

This morning was a half marathon out at the lake where I run pretty regularly, and I decided to do it with my local bestie and wear my pack with the 35 pound vest inside.

She said she'd stay with me no matter what, but I worried that we wouldn't finish within the time limit.  The course closes after 3.5 hours, which is about a 16 min/mile pace.

Last weekend, when I did my long walk with the pack (9 miles), followed by a long walk with the vest (9 miles), my average pace was slower than that.  Actually, I don't think I had any sub-16 miles. 

But today I thought I would try to jog some.  It was going to be my first time jogging with the pack, so I wanted to be careful.  Bestie was on board and we decided we'd start running/jogging each mile, go for as long as it felt okay, then walk the remainder of the mile, and start running again at the next mile marker.

We basically followed our plan.  There were a couple places where the water stop was right by the mile marker, so we would delay our run until we finished our waters, but we did it.

I was shocked at how well it went.  For the first several miles, we basically ran about half a mile, then walked the rest.  There were probably a couple in there where we only ran .3 or .4 and then walked, but mostly we were around .5.

But by about mile 5, we were picking it up.  The pace on the running was slowing down a little, but the runs were getting longer.  We would be running about .7 every time. 

We finally got to mile 12 and we started our run, and we just didn't stop.  There was a monster hill at the end (coincidentally, a monster downhill right at the start, which was how we hatched the run/walk plan, b/c I wanted to take advantage of that downhill!).  We hit mile 13 on the hill and kept right on going.

It was awesome!  I don't think my mood was particularly good, but my bestie can talk!  I got confused about the math a couple times, which is rare for me during a run, but it worked out and we even finished with a little bit of a cushion on the time.

I'm hurting.  Muscles are all fine, sore as expected.  But major pain in my lower back.  Chafing type pain.  Since I had guessed we'd be walking a lot, I decided to wear pants because it was cold (well, Dallas cold) and windy.  Well, good plan in terms of temps, but overall, poor planning.  I didn't think about what might happen wearing these particular pants with the backpack.  There was a tiny little zipper pocket on the back.  Right where the bottom of the pack's frame hit my lower back.  Ugh.  It seemed to rub me raw.  I was afraid there wouldn't be any skin left when I finished and my entire upper @ss would be a bloody mess.  Bestie looked at it afterward and said there was no broken skin but a very wide and long welt (I'm guessing 3x8 inches).  It will kill when I take a shower, which I'm going to postpone as long as humanly possible (oh, my poor husband!). 

But I finished and was so excited to have done 13.1 miles with the pack.  And doing it with a friend made it so much fun.  We crack ourselves up. 

Unfortunately, as soon as I got home, I looked at my phone.  Lots of missed calls.  Hubby and Dad.  Hubby had actually called Bestie while she was driving us home b/c he wanted to make sure we were okay and had finished the race.  And since it was race day and it had been many hours since we talked, I wasn't surprised to see those missed calls.  But Dad?  Calling at 8:15 on a weekend morning?  Probably not good. 

Indeed, Dad was calling to tell me Grandma had died at 2:30 this morning.

She had been doing okay physically, but she's had Alzheimer's for the last few years and it was hard.  She forgot almost everything, even during the course of a short conversation.  So I know she's in a better place, and she had a long full life.  But it's sad.  Oddly memorable half marathon. 

Not sure if we're going home for the funeral.  Will have to talk to my boss and look at flights.  Sigh.  Not what I want to be doing, but I guess it was inevitable.  Sigh...

Actually, updating later, I forgot that there aren't any funerals up there in the winter!  Can't bury anyone in solid ground.  So I'll probably wait until whenever they have the service in the spring to go home.  Wishing I could have been there to see her again though, and wishing I could be there now to hug my family and reminisce with them. 

Break in the Yoga Streak

I knew it was coming, but yesterday finally ended my yoga streak.  I had gone every single day, beginning on Saturday, January 7, until Wednesday, January 25. 

And then yesterday, I got up in the morning for a short run with my group, went to work and worked all day, then went out with colleagues to dinner.  And drank and ate way too much.

No yoga.

We went to Del Frisco's for dinner.  Sometimes it's tough being a vegetarian when everyone seems to think steak restaurants are all the rage.  At some of my fave steak places, they have amazing veggie sides. 

Nothing at Del Frisco's wowed me.  The asparagus comes with almonds on it, so I couldn't eat that.  I got a baked potato that was very average.  The mushrooms were fairly blah.  The whipped potatoes were pretty good.  The lobster mac and cheese (without the lobster of course) was probably the best thing, but it was a little runnier than I would have liked. 

But aside from the meal, I was really happy with my appetizer (asparagus tempura), my salad (wedge with blue cheese, no bacon), my dessert (lemon layer cake, still have some left-over for an afternoon treat today), and my drinks (a raspberry martini, followed by an off-menu pineapple martini, followed by a blackberry ginger martini, followed by lots of good red wine).

So after all that food, it ended up being a late night, so I skipped boot camp this morning in favor of sleep, and I've been insanely productive today while working from home, despite taking a couple hours off in the morning to go to grandparents and godparents day at my godson's preschool. 

But I miss yoga.  I feel bloated, swollen, heavy, and tired.  Usually the opposite of how I feel when I'm getting my regular dose of yoga. 

This is the last week of yoga though for a while, so I should get used to it I guess.  Either way, looking forward to this afternoon's class!