Wealthy friends

Most of our friends seem to have similar amounts of income to us.  I guess that's pretty common (especially since lots of people are friends with co-workers or former co-workers, who often have similar skills, education levels, earnings expectations, etc.).  We have a few friends who I would guess are very wealthy, and we have some friends for whom money is an issue frequently.  But for the most part, most of our friends are a lot like us -- not rich, but not poor.  Comfortable. 


Quite a while ago (maybe in the spring?), we went on a blind "couples date" with a co-worker of one of my friends and her husband.  We went to the Italian Club with the couple and ended up being seated at a table with a third couple.  The couple we were set up with were great, but they were in a very different life place -- younger than us, but also a different stage.  She was about 10 months pregnant (we picked the date knowing they'd have to reschedule if the baby came), with their first.  As nice as they were, we didn't seem to have a lot in common based on one dinner conversation, and while we'd be happy to have dinner with them again (even repeatedly, they were very nice), they didn't seem like people who would become good friends of ours.  But the third couple at the table were exactly up our alley -- they were close to our age and kid-free travelers who especially love Italy (she is actually Italian, he's British).  We totally hit it off with them. 


We exchanged numbers and emails that night and quickly started hanging out with this couple at least every few weeks (would have been more often except that the husband and I both were travelling a lot for work).  We'd be in touch with them often and were going out for dinner, sometimes going to see a movie, hanging out in each other's homes.  Totally awesome people.  Many times it felt like the restaurant staff was waiting for us to leave, or we were drinking in their garden and suddenly I'd realize it was about 4 hours before I had to get up and meet my friends to run.  Time just ran away.  We could talk forever. 


Not that it matters in terms of getting along with people, but when you meet new people, there are things you notice.  Race, age, sex, build, hair color, sense of humor, interests, political leanings, and sometimes you get a general sense of someone's rough income based on their job and/or where they live, or even just things they talk about.  With this couple, they drove a pretty reasonable car, but during one conversation, I found out that they'd wanted to buy a "fancy" car but couldn't because it turned out they had zero US credit history, and their income and foreign credit history didn't really matter, so they had to buy the car with cash.  I knew where he worked and what he did, and I knew where she wanted to work, but she actually wasn't working (hadn't found a job in the US).  And I knew they lived in a nice house in a nice section of Dallas.  But not a huge house, and not an ostentatious section of Dallas.  I generally assumed they were relatively similar to us in terms of income.  If I'd been pressed to guess, I would have guessed they earned more, based primarily on their beautifully furnished home. 


But as it turns out, they're significantly wealthier.  There were a couple hints (one of the cars they mentioned looking at before they found out they couldn't buy was a very expensive car).  But one night hanging out at their house, sitting around the table, eating and drinking, somehow we were deep in a conversation about ongoing changes and challenges in the economies of former African colonies, and we realized just how rich these people were. 


They actually showed us the money: 

They're billionaires!!!! 

Wait, no, they're actually multi-billionaires!  Who keeps 51 billion dollars just sitting around?  Apparently these people do. 

Strike that, they're trillionaires!!!!

And they seemed so down-to-earth...

As an aside, I love that they went to Zimbabwe while traveling, just to check it out.  Very adventurous. 

Unnecessary

So when I got the call on a Tuesday morning that my grandpa was not well, I got a plane ticket and flew home that day.  I only stayed a couple days.  The plan was that my husband would come on Friday or Saturday if I needed him to, but in the end, that wasn't the case.


When I packed, I pulled "my funeral dress" out of the closet.  I didn't pack it, but I hung it sideways so that my husband could pack it when he came if necessary.


 

(Very messy closet, it's been busy...)

Thankfully, not necessary.  My grandpa is pretty stable in general.  He's declining, and there's no chance he'll get better (maybe if I were more religious I'd believe a miracle could happen?  those seem pretty rare in the over-90 set though).  He won't be going home ever again, and he can't even be moved to a nursing home.  The only options are remaining in the hospital or going into hospice. 


I am so glad I went home though.  I'm also so glad I had the money to make it happen, and a job that was understanding.  I actually ended up working from the hospital room, so I didn't have to take sick time or vacation (not sure how it even works in our system).  Most days, I just sat next to him and held his hand, talked to him some, and worked.  I told my husband I'd be home, so he didn't need to come up.  But just getting to spend a few quality days there really meant a lot to me. 


I'm so glad that my grandpa knew I was there.  He smiled when he saw me.  It was a huge shock to see him.  He's been shrinking my whole life it seems, I think I passed him up in height when I was about 14, but he is tiny now.  He looked almost like a skeleton with skin.  In the two weeks before he went into the hospital and in his first week in the hospital (before they realized his g-tube had perforated his colon), he went from about 140 pounds to 108.  It was shocking and scary to see him.  He sleeps a lot, but when he's awake, he's alert -- and somewhat ornery. 


Here are the three things I want to remember:


1.  He said thank you when I put a blanket over him (after a nurse moved it to take vitals).
2.  I left the room as a nurse was going to change him, and on my way out, I told her that I was his granddaughter.  He said to the nurse as I was leaving, "she's my lawyer!" 
3.  He was frequently crabby when staff had to mess with him (taking vitals, etc.).  I think in a VA hospital, they're probably particularly used to dealing with this.  On the last full day I was there, a young male doctor came in.  As with all providers, he was very clear in saying what exactly he was going to do.  He said something like, "Leroy, I'm going to listen to your chest.  We've increased your fluids and I need to make sure you're doing okay."  My grandpa is pretty hard to understand since his stroke, but as the doctor was checking his heart/lungs with a stethoscope, my grandpa said something we didn't understand.  The doc asked him to repeat, and my grandpa asked, fairly clearly, "how'd you like it if I shove that up your ass?"  The doc didn't miss a beat and said "I don't think I'd like that at all.  Tell you what, I won't stick it up your ass and you don't stick it up mine." 


I came back to Dallas, and since then went to San Fran and Lake Tahoe for 6 days around Labor Day -- wow!  Then went to Philly later in the day on the day we got back from San Fran -- beating!  And this coming week, I'm working Colorado. 


I told my dad that I'd come back whenever he wanted me to, if grandpa's condition changes, or for the funeral, whenever that is.  This is so hard for my dad.  I've never gone through this before.  My other three grandparents died quickly, no prolonged illnesses.  Two of them were up and about one day, and gone by the next.  One was up and about (working on a catering job), then had a stroke or heart attack, was in the hospital and unconscious for about 2-4 days, then died.  So nothing like this, years in a wheelchair with a feeding tube after a stroke, and now weeks (or months?) in a hospital in a slow decline.  It might be easier to make a decision about hospice or ending his pain if my grandpa were declining mentally, but he's clearly still himself and alert at least some of the time. 


One of the scariest things was once when my grandpa turned away from me to see who was walking in the hospital room, and the back of his head looked so much like my dad.  I dread seeing my own parents get older, particularly to this point.

Lately

My life has just kind of been ticking along.  I've been working a ton, but I'm not really complaining.  I love my job and my husband has been pretty busy too.  He actually was not working at all this past weekend but he was more than happy to sit next to me on the couch while I worked remotely since he could watch all kinds of Olympic wrestling rounds. 


It was funny, when the Olympics were over, he commented that he was so glad he only likes watching this every four years because watching sports otherwise would just take up too much time.


We both did our fair share of shouting at the television in the last week.  I loved watching the marathon, and I was just so happy to see Meb finish.  A lot of what he said in his interview after the race made me get all teary.


And wow, Usain Bolt!


So my three big thoughts re: Bolt:
A.  Why not try to shatter the records and do one more Olympics?  Even if he just competed in 1 event and it was a relay, the chance to break Nurmi's record would be so cool!
B.  How many miles per week does he run in his current training, and what is his training like?
C.  What would happen if you gave him a year to train for and run a marathon?


On my own running front, things have been pleasantly unremarkable!  We actually had an amazing 10 day stretch of weather, and I was in town for all of it.  Our overnight lows got into the low 70s, which is unheard of for us!  It was still sticky, but the cooler temps made me feel great.  I had several runs where I was pleased with a majority of mile splits. 


I had last taken a full rest day on July 16, and I took another one on August 13, just because.  I ended up doing 3 easy this past Saturday (my usual rest day), because the weather was so nice and I knew it would put my weekly mileage into a rare (for me) mileage bracket -- that 55-60 mile week.  I've gone over 60 miles once in the last 15 weeks, but it was a double long-run fluke due to scheduling (long run on Sunday to start the week, and Saturday to end the week, but no long run the following week at all, since I had moved Sunday to Saturday).


But aside from my upper 50s week, I've been holding pretty steadily between 45 and 50, which is a good spot for me.  But there's a good chance it's coming to a screeching halt. 


I got the bad kind of "come home" phone call this morning, so I am flying home tonight to see my grandpa.  They're keeping him comfortable, but it sounds like he's reached the end of his road.  I'm glad I'll be able to be there for my dad, it's breaking my heart to hear how upset he's been when he's given me the last few updates.  I bought a one way ticket, but I'm hoping to only be home for a few days. 


Next week's break in training will be much better -- heading to San Fran on Wednesday and staying until Tuesday!  We're going to Tahoe of a couple days in between, and it will be great quality time with my little nephew Willard, who turned 1 in March -- and even more exciting for me, I'll get to see my sister-in-law pregnant!  I was bummed that I didn't make it a priority to be in the same state as her at any point while she was pregnant with Willard, but their next is due in January, so this time I'll get to see her with a belly.  Can't wait!  And they're actually finding out the sex right when we get to San Fran, so that will be exciting. 


September will actually be a low work travel month for me, which will be nice.  One trip to Colorado, one to Phoenix, one to Philly.  And then I'll just have one Colorado and one Philly in October, and then one big trip to South America -- not for work! 


So even with the family sadness, I'm getting by and doing all right.  Think this is the longest I've ever gone without blogging since I started it.  Oops! 

Solid weeks

So as much as I've been emotionally all over the place lately, I'm happy to say I've been logging some pretty steady running weeks. 


I've switched to going to boot camp only two days per week.  In theory, I'm still doing a run commute one day per week, but since I've been traveling for work so much, that seems to only happen once every few weeks.  I'm doing our "hill loop" (which is 6 miles, with "6" hills (it's really, 1, 2, 3, 4A, 4B, 4C, 5A, 5B, 5C, 6, bonus)) once a week pretty steadily.  And I've been skipping rest days lots of weeks in favor of a short social run (about 4 miles most weeks).  And thus far, I've been holding on pretty well I think.  Rest days will likely return in August when my long runs are 18+ most weeks, but I have felt fine skipping the rest days lately. 


Looking at my mileage for the last few weeks:


6-19:  42.1
6-26:  45.2 (technically it was 60.3, but I switched my long run day for the Fourth, so two long)
7-3:  44.8 (technically it was 29.7, but due to the switch, no long run)
7-10:  45.5
7-17:  48.0


And I think this week is on track for about 52.5.


Things are really ticking along, although my pace is far from where I'd like it to be.  But I'm doing a good job of not focusing on that, just doing the miles and enjoying them.  I guess the good part of work travel is that it tends to boost my mileage, since it's so easy to run in another city instead of doing something similar to boot camp. 


Now I just need to lock in for sure what all these miles are for.  As in, I need to commit to a race.  I'm leaning toward KC, but I've got two Iowa races in consideration as well.  I sadly have given up the idea of Columbus (sorry Meredith), I want to save that race for when I'm feeling faster (if that ever happens again), since it looks like a good one.


One fun thing from my running this week -- I was in Philly (thought it would be mega-crazy due to the DNC, but the only crazy thing was the hotel rates!) and it was 72 when I went running!!!!!  72 degrees!  I was tempted to wear long sleeves, haha.  But yeah, a mile in I remembered that 72 is significantly less miserable than 82, but still plenty warm.